Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Support

Have you ever been somebody's support? Been there to rub their back when they get too stressed, make them coffee in the middle of trying to do a million other things because they're tired and don't want/have time to, stay up until 3am to let them vent even though you have a busy day ahead of you? Have you ever been the one to listen as they talk through their problems, offering advice, or cheering them up - whichever you think is most necessary at the time?

If you have, for how many people do you offer this service? Do they return the favor? Do you have somebody that you can go to for this service if the person/people that you support doesn't/don't reciprocate?

If you haven't, are there people in your life that you can turn to when you need them? Why don't you support others? Do support somebody financially, or otherwise that you feel lets you off the hook for emotional support?


That leads me to my next question: is financial support equal to emotional support? If you live in a situation similar to mine - one working parent with one stay-at-home parent - is it the job of the SAH Parent to make sure that the working parent is stress free so s/he may keep his/her job? Looking critically it seems that the working parent has the more important job. Because we all know raising kids is a tough job, but it's also not the type of job you can get fired from for having one bad day (unless that bad day is taken to extreme), and if you have both parents, somebody will pick up the slack. But the SAHP cannot (usually) go into the office for the working parent, and without their ability to keep their job, the family is in worse shape than if the kids are a little spoiled, or didn't get a bath, or are having nightmares.

I don't know if I phrased this post well at all. My in-laws just left from packing up the moving truck, and I'm a little frenzied. I have to get showered and dressed, and then pick the kids up from the baby-sitter so we can all go to our first night of parenting class. I wish I had more time. I would go into more detail.

I may not be back online for quite sometime. I don't know how long it will take to get me a computer I can use in the new living arrangement.


P.S. I voted early today! Woo! That's a load off my mind. Now I don't have to worry about what my schedule looks like for Election Day.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Who knew I wasn't kidding when i put "Boring" in my title

How often am I supposed to blog again? Daily? Weekly? How long can I go between posts and still keep readers?

I know one woman whose posts infrequently but whose posts are soooo long that it takes days to read one. She keeps readers. Maybe not a lot of readers, but faithful readers. Readers so faithful that when she visits America (she's from Australia), she almost never has to book hotels, because her readers let her into their homes.

I don't write that well, though.

So, I should probably post more often. Unfortunately, I don't have much to talk about. I mean, yes, we're moving in with my in-laws. There's a million stories there - but they're not MY stories to tell, and I have been asked to not publish it "all over the Internet." My kids really are the heart of my life, and they're doing really really well.

We've been doing this routine thing for a while now, and even though I've been told, and told again by other parents, doctors, teachers, experts, editors, etc. that routine was the key to a happy child, I was still completely flabbergasted as I watched the transformation in my children. Lucian shares better, transitions better from one thing to another, he even stays in the playroom at home longer and quieter. Val has had fewer temper tantrums, has started a concerted effort towards talking. Today I was playing with one of those toys where you manipulate a switch of some sort, and then something pops up out of it's hole. His had farm animals. First I was trying to teach him cause and effect: Turn this knob, and a COW pops out. Push this button, and a CHICKEN pops out. Then I got bored after doing this for 15 turns, so I started to add animal noises. When the chicken popped out I started doing "bok bok bok" and he repeated me. Of course, "babababababa" IS his favorite word, so I wasn't that impressed. When the cow popped out I said, "Moo," and he replied, "Booo." I was shocked. I mean he's 14 months, and I know Lucian was an early talker, or at least he's very articulate for his age, now, but I really don't remember Lucian learning how to talk. As far as my memory goes, he was born, he learned how to crawl, and then he was singing his alphabet, and potty training. I don't know. There was so much going on, and I wrote it down so I wouldn't have to remember. But with Val, I just assumed it would take him a long time to start talking. He uses a binky, and he isn't in daycare, and quite frankly, I don't have the attention span to sit with him and name shapes and colors, and other baby games.

Sorry, back to the story at hand. So he said, "Boo." Well, it's not Moo, so I repeated the sound for him. He looked at me scrunched up his little face, and said "Moo!" I cheered. The Horse popped up next, and I said, "Neigh!" He replied, "neyneyney!" I think someone else must have been working with him on these words. Tonight at dinner I'm going to try different words. I don't know what, though. "THEY" say you should start with nouns because they are concrete. They have more meaning for him. But the sign language he knows isn't concrete. He says 'more,' 'down,' and 'drink.' When the camera is pointed at him, he says, "cheese," out loud. I don't think he's thinking of baby Swiss when he does it, so much as he's learned that when the camera points at Lucian, his big brother says cheese and gets lots of attention. It's simple baby logic.

I don't want Val to talk. I mean, yes of course I want him to talk. But once he starts talking, then I can't talk for him anymore. No longer will his reply to my question, "How are you this morning?" be, "Oh, Mom. Good morning. I'm ok, I just woke up, though, so I'm still a little groggy. Would you mind letting me hold my blankie while you change my diaper? You don't mind? Oh, great. I love my blankie. I should apologize now, I made a big stinky mess in my diaper, and i know you don't want to open it, but I appreciate that you do, and that you clean off all the poopies. I think my jeans are clean, can I wear them today?" Now it will just be, "Sing the sunshine song, Mommy."

good times are moving forward. I know it can't last forever. I know that all good things come to and end, and I know that this good thing ends with a transition to a new good thing. But I'm still sad at this passing. Maybe I should get pregnant agian... Ha! *this is funny because we're moving into a 3 bedroom house with 4 adults, 2 children, and 3 dogs. There's no more room for more babies.*